In the last 30 days or so, I've discovered that when it came to doing the wrong thing, I rarely hesitated. I knew when I was doing something wrong, but I went in "having faith" that God would make my situation better. That's jacked up, I know. So why is it when it comes to doing the right thing; not sinful, immoral, unethical or non biblical, do I hesitate? I understand it's easier to give in to rebellion than to choose the path of righteousness, but over the last month and a half, I've found myself asking God repeatedly, whether or not this call my spirit pulls me towards, is what he really wants for me. I still move forward, but it's as if I'm taking baby steps, not fully allowing myself to put my heart into it, because I'm terrified of making the wrong decision again.
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Until He's All You Have
The first #MissionTobyMac teaser was a clip of my cousin sharing her heart about my new journey. The one thing she said that stood out most to me, was that no matter what happens, "life will be different in 30 days". On the eve of day 41, I reflected on the events of those 30 days and felt that she was right. Life was different alright, for the worse! Not exactly what I had envisioned. Thoughts of everything bad rolled in my head like a 14lb bowling ball coming at me with a hard and unforgiving curve. Today, day 42, I awoke with a new outlook. This journey has been bitter sweet, but I really want to marvel in these current circumstances because I know they are what's changing my life for the better.
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