Have you ever met someone who speaks greatly of a loved one, only to find out that the truth is the exact opposite? Have you boasted about someone you love, giving them a highly regarded reputation, knowing that what you've said about them isn't actually true? All too often people embellish the truth about others because deep down they desperately want that person to
be someone they're not.
Sometimes we don't want to admit the truth about someone's character because it may sound mean, so building a make believe person seems more loving. In many cases, we're in love with the idea of the person, not the person themselves. However, we can still love someone regardless of their character, while not allowing the truth to damage our soul.
Anyone who is a believer is in Christ, and therefore who they are is not their outward actions. But creating a reality about someone that doesn't exist, is denial; which is easier because facing the truth would cause us to be in emotional shambles. When the truth is, we're already in emotional shambles, and the denial is simply bringing a false sense of security by making our emotions feel good. Sometimes the truth does hurt, but denial will only silently hurt worse and delay healing.
Sometimes we don't want to admit the truth about someone's character because it may sound mean, so building a make believe person seems more loving. In many cases, we're in love with the idea of the person, not the person themselves. However, we can still love someone regardless of their character, while not allowing the truth to damage our soul.
Anyone who is a believer is in Christ, and therefore who they are is not their outward actions. But creating a reality about someone that doesn't exist, is denial; which is easier because facing the truth would cause us to be in emotional shambles. When the truth is, we're already in emotional shambles, and the denial is simply bringing a false sense of security by making our emotions feel good. Sometimes the truth does hurt, but denial will only silently hurt worse and delay healing.
Common examples are saying "My Dad is the best Dad in the world. He's always there for me, he's always kind and he always tells me the truth no matter what." When in reality, your dad was an alcoholic all your life, who was physically there but drunk or passed out most of the time, and his version of the truth is through the lens of his own brokenness whereby teaching you to end up copying his same behaviors. Or perhaps you've said, "I love my husband; He's so open and honest with me, he cares about my feelings, and he never does anything to hurt me. " When in reality, your husband is open and honest about the fact that he's cheating on you and he buys you things to make your feelings feel good so that you won't recognize that he actually is intentionally hurting you, but you're afraid to do anything about it because your mind has you convinced "he's such a good person".
That's what happens when we aren't established in our true identity, which is in Christ. We'll likely cling to a self-made, pretend image of another person for a twisted form of affirmation and acceptance. Do you see signs that someone you know is doing this? Are you perhaps doing this yourself? I encourage you to take an honest inventory of your heart and allow God access to heal you, so that the ones you love will take their proper place in your life and no longer control your mind or your emotions. Be free!
Have You Reached the End of Yourself?
Amen!! Sometimes the truth about people hurts, but the fact is that we need our all sufficient God to sustain us, and, he is more than capable!!
ReplyDelete