What is Real Worship?

What does it really mean to worship; is it raising your hands in church? What is true worship; is it jumping up and down? What is worship exactly; is it screaming or whew hooing? What is the actual meaning of worship? Well, take all of those outward appearances...and throw them out the window. Can worship manifest in those forms, yes. The outward, visible signs of worship can be seen in many forms; singing, dancing, painting, sculpting etc. In fact, that's how I was raised. I was taught from a young age that worshiping was ALL of that. 

When the Door Opens, BE READY!

As I have finally "let go" of the things that were holding me back, life becomes so much more clear. I'm able to recognize and hear God speak to me often. The bible talks about several ways God speaks to us; his word, prayer, the holy spirit, dreams and other people (angels) etc. There are several times in my life when God would place something on my heart and later I would discover it's validity. One example is my mother's accident, shortly before she died. I was lying in bed in the middle of the night. I awoke from a dead sleep, sitting straight up in bed and heard the still small voice saying, "Carissa, something bad has happened to your mom, when you get the call, know I will be right here with you".  Two minutes later, the phone rang. The person on the other end told me that my mom had been in an accident and was in the hospital, in a coma.

Faith It Til You Make It!

I've spent the last 3 months or so, listening to a lot of people tell me how I should be living my life, how I should be moving forward. Not just in St. Louis, but even here in TN, there are people everywhere who feel it necessary to tell me how I should be doing things because it's what worked for them. I've always had the head knowledge that everybody's path is different, but I wasn't able to apply it. Being a people pleaser, paired with knowing I should respect my elders and authority, I always did everything I could to do what all of those people were telling me to do. And most of the time, the advice pulled me in opposite directions. Can you say, "Chase my own tail much?" It's no wonder I've spent so many years tormented and emotionally exhausted.

It is All by God's Grace

In God’s will, is our peace. This explains and confirms mine. Though I still have work to do, the pressure of many asking “how are you going to fix this” and “how are you going to take care of that”, still resonates. Please hear this…I am not going to fix, take care of, or fulfill anything. Don’t you see, it is impossible for ME to do ANY of this.  My circumstances have gone way beyond my control. The only thing I must choose to do is trust my father in heaven. His plan for me is GOOD and “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me” Psalm 138:8.

He Wants Us To Know Him

In the last 30 days or so, I've discovered that when it came to doing the wrong thing, I rarely hesitated.  I knew when I was doing something wrong, but I went in "having faith" that God would make my situation better. That's jacked up, I know. So why is it when it comes to doing the right thing; not sinful, immoral, unethical or non biblical, do I hesitate? I understand it's easier to give in to rebellion than to choose the path of righteousness, but over the last month and a half, I've found myself asking God repeatedly, whether or not this call my spirit pulls me towards, is what he really wants for me. I still move forward, but it's as if I'm taking baby steps, not fully allowing myself to put my heart into it, because I'm terrified of making the wrong decision again.

Until He's All You Have

The first #MissionTobyMac teaser was a clip of my cousin sharing her heart about my new journey. The one thing she said that stood out most to me, was that no matter what happens, "life will be different in 30 days". On the eve of day 41, I reflected on the events of those 30 days and felt that she was right. Life was different alright, for the worse! Not exactly what I had envisioned. Thoughts of everything bad rolled in my head like a 14lb bowling ball coming at me with a hard and unforgiving curve. Today, day 42, I awoke with a new outlook. This journey has been bitter sweet, but I really want to marvel in these current circumstances because I know they are what's changing my life for the better.