In 2012, when I set out to pursue the true callings on my life, I was accused of using my story for my own personal gain. I've been verbally bashed, slandered, and de-friended; in some cases I've even been de-familied for one reason or another. Thankfully, by the Grace of God, I don't hold anger or resentment towards anyone; I know that not everyone understands or is comfortable with my level of surrender to the Lord (nor do they understand me, which is okay because I didn't even understand me until I discovered my "Redemptive Gift"). I thought it might be helpful (or at the least, interesting) to put myself in someone else's shoes, by conducting a mental experiment. I wanted to see if it was actually possible for me to make things happen for myself. Check out what I discovered...
There’s no denying that a miracle can happen to anyone. However in some cases, especially with non-believers, the Lord didn’t perform a miracle. What happened was...you manipulated the situation, people and/or circumstances to get what you wanted. The Lord, in all his mercy, allowed it to happen, so he could show you that what you just worked so hard for, will not fulfill you! He allowed your works to appear fruitful, to show you that what you actually wanted and needed most, was Him.
In order to conduct this experiment and find out if I was capable of such self-made success, I had to apply human logic and reasoning. I started with exposing my background, so that I knew exactly what I was working with.
I'm a 39 year old woman, from a small town in MO; raised partially on a farm, partially in the suburbs. I went to a normal high school; with your typical bullying and the occasional assault and battery. Then on to a normal college, followed by normal jobs. From there, I had a string of somewhat normal and not so normal (and awful) relationships, sprinkled with some other normal life experiences and a plethora of money issues (this is a key factor); I'd say I could be summed up as a somewhat normal, insignificant body in the earthly realm.
PUT TO THE TEST
In order for me to accomplish the Lord's work, on my own, it would require either miracles or some major manipulation. First, I'd need ridiculous networking skills, followed by solid connections in very significant industries, which I'm guessing comes easy for an introvert? Then I'd need a job with a salary large enough to pay off "top dogs" to get whatever I wanted. Having those two things in place, I'd easily be able to produce a box office movie or write a best selling book about my testimony, that would ultimately glorify God and lead people to Jesus. I would also be able to rent an arena to speak in; where ultimately my testimony would glorify God and lead more people to Jesus. Then of course the people, with which to watch the movie, read the book and fill the arena. This is where I'd need those networking connections I mentioned; ROCK STARS at marketing AND sales. Then I could rent stadiums and other large venues with which to sing in, so a bunch of people could come and watch. I'd have to call in those favors though, that I finagled from those rock star marketers, to tell the world about me AND convince them they want to pay for tickets. Oh wait, I forgot about all the plane rides, hotel stays and meals. If I were a pro-ball player with billions in savings, I could see why this would be easy.
REALITY
I giggle. We’re talking, I followed the Lord when he led me to live with, and minister to, homeless people. If I had written the script to my life and was hoping to use my story to “make myself famous”, why in the world would I choose the homeless route? Of all the homeless people in the world, I would have to be a pretty extreme case for anyone in the spotlight to somehow find ME. Then once they did, I'd have to be an even more extreme case for them to decide to put me in the public eye; does that even make any sense? My journey was never about me setting out to make myself famous. My journey has always been about making Jesus Christ famous! When the Lord has called you to something, it is HIS responsibility to bring you into it and cause it to happen. There is no way on the planet I could work hard enough or schmooze the right connections.
The truth is that whatever happens will be a testimony to GOD; his love and grace, HIS power and what HE is capable of
doing in our lives when we fully surrender and let him have HIS way! HIS glory
will be revealed, it will be revealed in a BIG way and there will be no other
choice but to see first-hand that ONLY GOD is capable of something like this. Miracles do happen, but not because of any single thing
WE did, it’s ALWAYS because of GOD! What I'm excited about most, is that I already have MANY, MANY of these testimonies of God's love, power and grace and I can't wait to share them!
