During a "round table" at a Burger King hi-top, my family and I were discussing the expectations people have in their spouse; or future spouse if one is single. Though there are different roles and natural tendencies of each gender; one major, unanimous conclusion we came to was whatever you expect in your mate; should also be what you have to offer.
There were certain topics we noticed are not considered these days to the degree they should be; namely, spiritual devotion. Are both husband and wife saved? Are they both following the Lord? Is the husband walking in his leadership role properly as the picture of Christ and the church? Is the woman submitted to her husband as unto the Lord?
What we discovered instead, was today's generation seeking carnal behaviors that mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of life. We met a pastor once who took his daughter out for a daddy/daughter dinner date (Wow, say that 5 times fast). He told us how he used that opportunity to tell his daughter what to look for in a man. He mentioned things like opening the car door for her, pulling out her chair at the table, and getting her home by curfew. I was admittedly, livid. I felt so bad for that poor young woman who if she doesn't start seeking the Lord for herself; has the potential to end up in an abusive relationship.
Focusing on the women; some other requirements were putting the toilet seat down and bringing her flowers. These have actually become the normal standards. Of course there is a "does my heart good" in the soul realm when we do these things for each other; but if this is the bar we set, no wonder 75% of Christian marriages end in divorce. You can train your dog to bring you flowers. Shoot; you can even train your dog to put down the toilet seat. After all was said and done, my sister so eloquently and humorously stated; "If your pet can do what you expect your mate to do; ya may wanna go a little deeper."
For a chunk of my adult life, I was told that there was no man on earth who could meet my expectations. I was repeatedly told my standards were too high, and if I ever wanted to be in a relationship, I shouldn't be so demanding. However, I would submit to the world that many of your
standards aren’t high enough; I would say it's high time more people started RAISING their standards!
What good does it do for a man to open the door for you if he throws you into one when you get home? What does it matter if he gets you home by curfew if he took advantage of you long before that? What does it matter to get a card from someone who won't communicate with you? What difference would it make to be lavished with everything you ever wanted if you die prematurely because your husband didn't cover you and keep the enemy at bay? Marriages are ending, relationships are in turmoil, and people's lives are being ravaged because of mediocrity. I challenge you to raise the bar; re-prioritize, set higher expectations, and make God's design the new standard!
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I'm thinking I should train my pet to put the toilet seat down.
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